Saturday, July 4, 2015

Confederate Flags and Rainbows ... Oh, My!

This past couple of weeks has been tumultuous with uproars, outrage, hate and pity parties over things that are so trivial on the wide scope.

REBEL FLAGS:  Confederate flags are being removed from buildings, parks and stores because one idiot photographed himself holding one.  He committed a horrible racist based crime and the entire country is blaming a flag?  Give me a break.

That flag is about so much more than the issue of slavery.  It represents so much more than racism.  While some people see it as a symbol of a racist mind set.  Others see it as a symbol of history and heritage.

If removing the flag would change history, would undo the harm that slavery did to so many people, then I and a lot of other people would be all for it.  However it won't.  It will not do anything but sweep history under a rug.  So leave that flag alone.

If you want to make a change regarding that flag make it illegal for the KKK to be able to use it in any way.  Even go one step further and make the white hooded costume that they wear to be illegal.  Oh ... but that would take away their "rights".  Yes, it would.  So strange that some rights are more important than others.

RAINBOW COLORS: The other hot topic of the week was the legalization of same sex marriages.  I have never seen so many hateful comments coming from my fellow Christians in all my born days.  Good grief!   Calm down.

So what if gay couples get married?   A change in the civil law about marriages doe not change God's Law.  Stop worrying about it.  God's law will remain the same today as it was yesterday and as it will be tomorrow.  The change in the civil law will not "create" more gay couples just the same as not legalizing gay marriages would eliminate gay couples.  

Look at all the self righteous comments that you have made over this issue and ask yourself if Jesus would have said those things.  Jesus / God loves gay people just as much as he loves heterosexual people.  Surprise!!!! Does that mean that he has changed his stand on the act of sin?  No.  He is the same today as yesterday and the same as He will be tomorrow.  Homosexuality is still a sin just like all other sins.  

He still loves us .... all of us sinners ..... no matter what the sin.   Sins come in a lot of forms so check the list of your own sins before you get all outraged at what other people do.  When we stand before Him and are held accountable for our sins it won't matter if the sin is homosexuality, thievery, a lying tongue, adultery, greed, gluttony, or any of all the other sins.

So ..... worry about yourself.   If everyone would just try to be the most sin free version of themselves that they can be then this world would be a better place.   We can't be perfect because we are human, but we sure could try a little harder.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Would a hug help?

This is true.
A truly sincere hug is an emotional release.
All who truly know me .... my family and close friends ....
know that I am a hugger.

However .... long ..... 20 second hugs......
are rare even for me.

They are reserved for people that I know
and for those special moments like ....
reunions after a long separation,
or the last hug before a sad goodbye, 
condolences to a loved one or good friend
who has suffered a terrible loss,
a consoling hug to a loved one or friend 
who is having a very bad day.

Long hugs convey the love and caring from the hugger to the huggee.

Even a short hug helps to convey a person's feelings.

More people should try it. 


I was born a hugger, but life's painful experiences took it out of me.
It was a long string of years before I healed enough to hug or be hugged.

So if you hug someone and they stand there stiffly .... 
it is best to stop hugging and step back.

They may not be emotionally able to accept a hug at that time. 

I am so glad that I have reached a time in my life
where a hug is an act of "comfort". 


If I don't know you very well, I won't hug you.
I have learned that hugs are sometimes 


Saturday, June 6, 2015

Casting Stones

Are our words and judgments the same as the Biblical stones?

It's not my job/place to say what is right or what is wrong, what is sin or what is not.  It is just my job to be the best, kindest, loving, most helpful, prayerful and Christian person that I can be.  Daily, there are things that go against my beliefs, my standards, my faith, my heart.  Sometimes I get sidetracked with something that someone else has done or said.  I need to take a deep breath and chill out.  What they do is not about me.  No matter what horrible ( in my opinion ) thing that they have done I have to remember that .... God loves them just as MUCH as He loves me.  It is NOT for me to judge them.  For you see I will be judged by the same measure to which they will be judged.  So will you.  So before I or you go ranting about what someone else does .... we should make sure that my or your behavior and thoughts are squeaky clean .... in the past and in the present.

"For he who is without sin may cast the first stone".

Friday, February 20, 2015

Friends in Need

Most of us have friends. We have long time friends, new friends, distant friend and nearby friends.   We have dearly loved friends and acquaintance friends.  We have friends that we see nearly every day, and friends that we see once every few years.  We consider all of them to be friends .... just on various levels of affection.

I have all the friends mentioned above plus a few more.  One type that I could do with a little less  is the one that ...... only calls you when they need you do something for them.  Usually it means doing it for free.  Auuughhh.  I don't hear from that friend for two years and then out of the blue I get a phone call:  How are you?  How are the kids?  How are your grandkids?  Uh, I have a question ..... could you ________________________ for me???????????   You probably have one of these too.

They say that a friend in need is a friend indeed.  That is true.  They are your "friend" until you finish what they want you to do. Then it will be a year or longer before you even hear from them again.  Oh, wait .... maybe that's a good thing.  Or maybe I need to learn to say no.  Hmmmm??

If you have real, caring, reciprocal friends .... cherish them.  They are worth holding onto.

Friday, February 13, 2015

When it's all said and done.

It really is black or white.  There are no shades of grey in the end.

Where is your line?

I'm an old fuddy-duddy.
I'm one of those weird Jesus believers.
I'm opinionated.
I tend to be a "chicken little" aka ( The sky is falling ).
I act like I "know it all".

I've heard all those .... and more ... descriptions of myself.
Heck, I even attribute them to me of my own accord.
I am all those things.  I am also so much more.

You see, I actually do care what happens to others.  Therefore I try to share my experiences.  I try to warn the young and naive about dangers from the "world".

Oh, you don't need me to do that.  Sorry.  I apologize if some of you take it as interfering or meddling.  I don't mean to seem that way.  I just care.

So here is how I look at things of the world.
There is good and bad, right and wrong, purity and evil.
We all have "free will".
Each person has to decide for his or herself what is right or wrong, good or evil, etc.
I have grown old and I just don't have the time or tolerance for wrong or evil any more.

As we all experience our "free will" most of us draw a line where one side is okay and one side is not. As we get older our line is rubbed out and redrawn.  We scratch out a new line as we learn more accurately what is right or wrong.   Our views change either by experiences or by acquiring knowledge.

Old people who are willing to share their experiences or knowledge with you don't mean to be nosey. We just don't want you to fall into a pit of evil and not be able to get out.

Be careful.
Your thoughts can become words.
Your words can become deeds.
Your deeds can become your character.
What kind of character do you want attributed to you?
( How do you want your children and grandchildren to view your character?)

Just be careful.
Think beyond the moment.
Think beyond the instant gratification.
Think beyond what others say or do.

Oh, all your friends are doing it too?
They support your decisions?
It is for their own sake that they do so.
You see ... by giving you the thumbs up it justifies their own behavior ( in their minds).

Think for yourself.

Be careful when you cross the line.
Sometimes you can't come back.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Proud Parents?

Oh, you know them.  They are the parents who act as the cheering section for their children.  They are at every game / event.  Their kid is the best on the team / squad / whatever.  They brag on their child ad nauseam.  They post on facebook, and other social media about how proud they are of their precious, beautiful, talented, smart, athletic, sweet, polite, well mannered, socially advanced, loving, awesome child.  It can get to be a little bit much, .... right?  (I see you nodding your head.)

You have been told or have seen firsthand that some of these children are rude to teachers, speak horrible to his/her parents, drink, lie, breaks curfew, are hateful to other kids and act obnoxious toward other adults.

You wonder if that parent just doesn't see it .... or what? Who is the perfect child of which the parent speaks?  Why is that child so different in your eyes?

Well, here it is.  They actually do see the child as being exactly how they describe.  Rose colored glasses?  No.  It's love. ( What? Give me a break. ) No, seriously.  It's a rose colored heart filled with unconditional love.   You see ... to them that child actually IS amazing.   They may wear some blinders to some behaviors or refuse to believe it when told something by another adult, but they truly do love their child.  They see the perfection and minimize the imperfections.

This is not to say that they overlook bad behavior.  Many parents are good at disciplining their children when it's needed.  ( Not all .... but some actually do discipline them )  Yet in public, you will never hear them mention it.  They will never embarrass that child in front of their child's friends or other people in general.  The child may embarrass the parent, but the parent will hide it and will not embarrass their child.  They will continue to uplift and encourage that child no matter what.  They will be there no matter what.

So what is it about this type of parent that inspires me to blog about it?  Regrets.  It's that my parents were not like that.  And sadly, I was not like that as a parent when my kids were growing up.  I wish that I had been more supportive and more demonstrative of my pride in my children.  So should you.  Why?  Because in the years to come those kids will look back and KNOW that their parents loved them.  You see ....... that child will be on that team, in that school, in that town, for a little while ..... but they will be your child for all of their lives.  If you want a well adjusted, confident, adult then build up a confident child.

I hear you ..... "but you'll spoil them" .... "and you'll create little monsters" .... "and they will not take responsibility for their actions" ,,,, and "they will grow up to be a criminal".  That could happen and I have seen it happen .... but that is done by overly permissive parents who allow their children to be rude and out of control with no consequences.  There must be consequences, but that does not mean that the parent should demoralize the child in front of others.

So build up those children.  Tell them what they did correctly .... and gently talk to them about what they did incorrectly.  Tell them how proud of them that you are of them and let them know that you love them whether they win or lose, succeed or fail.  Applaud them when they succeed.  Give them a hug when they fail and encourage them to do better.

If they have done something that needs a consequence then explain that in life there are always going to consequences and rewards.  Explain that you are not punishing them ..... they earned the consequence of their own accord.

Keep on building up that child and you will have a wonderful adult in your family some day.


Disclaimer:  I am not a person with any degree of formal education in parenting.  These thoughts are merely my own ... based on my experience and observations.  :)